What's a girl to do when it is one of those days? You know what I'm talking about, those days when your face breaks out, you have nothing to wear, you are acutely aware of the fact that you gained a pound, and life just seems plain out cruel in everyway possible. What's a girl to do when those days start stretching into weeks?
In the past couple weeks, wedding stress has turned my face into something that just stresses me out more every time I look at it, late nights have turned my emotions into ticking time bombs, I resprained the foot that I sprained two years ago, and it seems that there are people out there who delight in tearing down the world that I am trying so hard to keep intact in the midst of all this change. In short, I have become a zit-faced basketcase, seriously entertaining the thought that all who look upon me will cringe at the sight and, if that doesn't scare them away, my volatile, irrational emotions will. In tears, I cried to God for answers and He, as usual, delighted to answer me.
Me: "Why God, did you make me like this? How can everyone still care about me and tell me I'm beautiful, especially my fiance? I'm so not! Is everyone really that blind?"
God: What if (God always seems to answer me with a question) I am trying to tell you that you are beautiful through them? What if they are seeing you as I see you? Can you accept that I think you are beautiful in every way? Can you accept that I want others to see you as I do and through them, I am expressing myself to you?
God always knows what to say to get through to me:)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
An Infinite God
We usually look at the word infinite and think of something eternal, something that has no end, something that just keeps going beyond all time and space. While this is a correct definition, it only deals with the concept of time. God does exist beyond all time and space, He is boundless and eternal with no end, but what if we expanded the meaning of infinite to include character, personality, virtue, strength, and reason?
Not only is God infinite in reference to time, but also in His entire Person. His love is infinite, His justice is infinite, and His mercy is infinite.
"And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man..." Romans 1:23
Even we as Christians are guilty of this. How often do we look at God and try to understand Him by looking through the glasses of our humanity? No human can be 100% just and 100% merciful at the same time. We may express each of these qualities, but none of us can express them to their fullest capacity, and both simultaneously. We are limited in this, but God is not.
I have noticed, that because we tend to limit God by understanding Him with our finite minds, we tend to latch on to one aspect of God and ignore the others, simply because we cannot reconcile in our minds that God can infinitely be all of them. Some latch onto God as holy and righteous Judge, or as the Father who blesses when He is obeyed and punishes when disobeyed. The thing is, God is infinitely both of them. Another aspect of God that tends to be downplayed in the circles I've been in, is God as Husband and Bridegroom.
This is the aspect of God that loves us with an everlasting love, the God that would lay down His life and die for us. Since getting engaged, marriage is one of those things that has been on my mind, and God has used it to better clarify to me the mystery of Christ and the Church. A husband finds pleasure in his wife, even if she burns dinner or spends a little too much on a pair of shoes. She is the desire of his heart, the one he is passionate about, the one he desires to protect from all harm. A whole book of the Bible was dedicated to the love between a husband and wife. Imagine God feeling toward you as Solomon felt toward his bride.
God is simultaneously 100% all of these. There is no division into parts. An infinite God has no bounderies placed on His nature; There is no dividing line where His mercy ends and His justice begins. They are infinite and boundless; they simultaneously work together 100% of the the time.
If God is love (which He is; 1 Jn. 4:8), and God loves every one of His children, do I have to share the love He loves me with, with every other believer? Is His love divided?
"An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others." ~A. W. Tozer
The answer to both of my questions: no. When you divide a number by infinity, you get infinity. In the same way, when you divide God's love by infinity, you get infinite love that knows no bounderies and no limits.
Not only is God infinite in reference to time, but also in His entire Person. His love is infinite, His justice is infinite, and His mercy is infinite.
"And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man..." Romans 1:23
Even we as Christians are guilty of this. How often do we look at God and try to understand Him by looking through the glasses of our humanity? No human can be 100% just and 100% merciful at the same time. We may express each of these qualities, but none of us can express them to their fullest capacity, and both simultaneously. We are limited in this, but God is not.
I have noticed, that because we tend to limit God by understanding Him with our finite minds, we tend to latch on to one aspect of God and ignore the others, simply because we cannot reconcile in our minds that God can infinitely be all of them. Some latch onto God as holy and righteous Judge, or as the Father who blesses when He is obeyed and punishes when disobeyed. The thing is, God is infinitely both of them. Another aspect of God that tends to be downplayed in the circles I've been in, is God as Husband and Bridegroom.
This is the aspect of God that loves us with an everlasting love, the God that would lay down His life and die for us. Since getting engaged, marriage is one of those things that has been on my mind, and God has used it to better clarify to me the mystery of Christ and the Church. A husband finds pleasure in his wife, even if she burns dinner or spends a little too much on a pair of shoes. She is the desire of his heart, the one he is passionate about, the one he desires to protect from all harm. A whole book of the Bible was dedicated to the love between a husband and wife. Imagine God feeling toward you as Solomon felt toward his bride.
God is simultaneously 100% all of these. There is no division into parts. An infinite God has no bounderies placed on His nature; There is no dividing line where His mercy ends and His justice begins. They are infinite and boundless; they simultaneously work together 100% of the the time.
If God is love (which He is; 1 Jn. 4:8), and God loves every one of His children, do I have to share the love He loves me with, with every other believer? Is His love divided?
"An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others." ~A. W. Tozer
The answer to both of my questions: no. When you divide a number by infinity, you get infinity. In the same way, when you divide God's love by infinity, you get infinite love that knows no bounderies and no limits.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Movies
After a long week of craziness, the weekend has arrived! Many people like to celebrate with a quick run to their neighborhood Blockbuster Video and by sharing a big bowl of popcorn with their friends. Movie nights are a favorite pastime of mine. I love seeing a movie with my family or friends but when it comes to actually choosing the movie, what is appropriate?
It is not easy to find the answer. The word movie will not show up in any Bible concordance. So, where do we draw the line? Psalm 101:3 says, "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes…" The word wicked in this verse could be better translated "without profit" or "worthlessness."
Is it worthless and without profit for me? As individuals, we are each vulnerable in different areas. A violent war scene may not bother me but it may bother someone else; even something that may not affect me outwardly may affect my mind without my realizing it. All things are lawful for me to do, but not all things are edifying (1 Cor. 10:23). For this reason, it is necessary to carefully think about what we are watching instead of treating it as mindless entertainment.
Ultimately, we must each individually decide what God's desire is for us. God's laws are in our minds and written on our hearts. We have the mind of Christ. When we set before our eyes a thing that is not right for us to see, the Holy Spirit will reveal this.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
AE Photo Scavenger Hunt
Stapler- A Paper's Eye View
Reflections- "This do in remembrance of Me"
Leap- The Leap of Faith 
Fears- Hopelessly Alone.JPG)
Coffee- Happiness in a cup!
Time- Make every second count
Squirrel- The new and improved hypoallergenic kind!
White Trash- Because nothing says it quite like a stroller propped up against a propane tank...
Date- Countdown to a deadline
Police- Those coffee-drinking, donut-eating, protectors of the community!.JPG)
Self-Portrait- Enjoying the Spring Flowers 
Making A Statement- "Our guns may be silent, but Dixie will never die"
A Memory- Bygone Summer Days
Weather- When it's raining, we often forget to look for the small, yet beautiful, moments.
Broken
Green- "Go Green!"
Music
A Favorite Thing- My Engagement Ring
A Tool- Old Shovel 
Funny- Sometimes, the camera angle is the only thing that makes the picture:)Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Chastening of the Lord
Over the last few weeks, I have been memorizing Hebrews 12 for Advanced EXCEL. Several of the verses made me really think about the "chastening" of the Lord. What is the "chastening?"
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he recieveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
~Hebrews 12:5-11
So, what is this chastening? These verses state that only sons are chastened. Unbelievers will not recieve the chastening of the Lord, only believers will. Is chastening punishment from a Holy God? Most people I know would give an adament "YES!" to that question. But what does the word really mean? And can believers even be punished by God?
Let's look at a few verses and see what God actually says:
Psa 103:12~As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Rom 8:1~There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
2Cor 5:21~For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
1Cor 6:17~But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
When God looks at us, He sees His own righteousness. If we are one with the Lord, how can He punish Himself Who knew no sin? There is no condemnation for Jesus took it all upon Himself on the cross. I think it is safe to say that God does not and cannot punish us for our sins and "mistakes." The price has already been paid. It is finished.
Chastisement is definitely not punishment. So what is it then? The Greek words translated chastening and chastisement mean tutorage, train, instruct, and educate. Therefore, whom the Lord loveth He instructs, teaches, educates, trains. That takes some of the sting out of the word chastening for me.
The chastening of the Lord is simply God's tutorage. He may use the seemingly bad things we go through as tools for His teaching and It may not always be pleasant, but it is not punishment. It is God lovingly teaching us more about Himself and our standing in Christ. If we endure(remain under) chastening(tutorage, education, training) then God deals with us as His sons and daughters(Heb. 12:7a).
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he recieveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
~Hebrews 12:5-11
So, what is this chastening? These verses state that only sons are chastened. Unbelievers will not recieve the chastening of the Lord, only believers will. Is chastening punishment from a Holy God? Most people I know would give an adament "YES!" to that question. But what does the word really mean? And can believers even be punished by God?
Let's look at a few verses and see what God actually says:
Psa 103:12~As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Rom 8:1~There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
2Cor 5:21~For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
1Cor 6:17~But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
When God looks at us, He sees His own righteousness. If we are one with the Lord, how can He punish Himself Who knew no sin? There is no condemnation for Jesus took it all upon Himself on the cross. I think it is safe to say that God does not and cannot punish us for our sins and "mistakes." The price has already been paid. It is finished.
Chastisement is definitely not punishment. So what is it then? The Greek words translated chastening and chastisement mean tutorage, train, instruct, and educate. Therefore, whom the Lord loveth He instructs, teaches, educates, trains. That takes some of the sting out of the word chastening for me.
The chastening of the Lord is simply God's tutorage. He may use the seemingly bad things we go through as tools for His teaching and It may not always be pleasant, but it is not punishment. It is God lovingly teaching us more about Himself and our standing in Christ. If we endure(remain under) chastening(tutorage, education, training) then God deals with us as His sons and daughters(Heb. 12:7a).
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Engagement Pictures
So, this is my man:)
The woods where he proposed.
Then we went and sat by the lake...
...and we had sparkling grapejuice and cheese and crackers(yum!).
Pictures of us:)
This is part of the gardens where we were...
And this is the ring! I love it:)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
My Life through God’s Eyes
A row of books, a comfy chair, and solitude. Pen poised, journal open, I settle in for what I expect will be a wonderful, though long overdue, time with my God. Enveloped by the silence of the library, I pose my questions to Him and await His reply.
What is God's view of who I am? A few months ago, I doubt I could have answered this question completely. I only knew in part who I was and how God saw me. But now, God has revealed this mystery to me and with surety I can say that He sees me as perfect, holy, and without blemish. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says that I have been "made the righteousness of God in Him (Christ)."
When God sees me, He sees His own righteousness. He sees me as whole and complete. John wrote to believers in 3 John 1:4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth". I believe that, like John, God has no greater joy than to know that His children are walking in His truth. There is nothing that brings God more joy than seeing me just starting to live out of the truth that I am perfect and complete in Christ!
I am made in God's image and I am perfect and beautiful in His sight. I am His beloved and the desire of His heart. I am a princess of the Most High King, and everything that belongs to the King also belongs to me.
Why am I here? I am here to bring God more glory. He made me and sanctified me because He can live through me in a way that He cannot live through anyone else. He has created in me a love for truth and now THE Truth is alive in me. I am here to proclaim truth to those captives that have been freed and do not yet realize it.
God wants me to know Him and He wants others to see Christ living out of me. Jesus is my source of life; He is the Life. For "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me."
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Women in Leadership
The TV reporters checked and rechecked their equipment, going over their list of questions one more time. Every camera was fixed on the podium; every eye was fixed on the fluttering behind the curtains. As the US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, stepped up to the microphone, she was greeted by the flashes of a hundred different cameras. As I sat watching the TV screen, I admired this lady's courage and calm. She knew what she was talking about, and she knew whom she represented.
Should a woman be in a leadership position? Thousands of books and sermons have been written on this subject, and there are a million individual points of view. The real issue at the heart of this question is whether a woman should hold a position of authority over a man. In 1 Timothy 2:12, Paul does forbid women to teach men and to "usurp authority over the man" in the church. "Usurp authority over" basically means to dominate and take over by force that to which you have no right.
A queen has authority over her subjects. A woman that has a hired hand or a butler has authority over them as Mistress of the house. A woman who runs a business has authority over her employees. A woman elected to public office has been given that jurisdiction by the ones that elected her. It is their right to that authority and they have been given that jurisdiction.
Women can, and should, be leaders. Most people automatically associate leadership with authority but in Webster's Dictionary of American English, the word lead is defined: To guide and conduct by showing the way, to go before, to direct. A leader can hold complete authority or simply guide, without controlling and commanding. Deborah, one of the judges of Israel, is an example of a woman in leadership who did not overstep the jurisdiction that had been given to her; she led without taking over Barak's jurisdiction as a man and as the leader of Israel's army.
This is not an issue with an easy answer. God has given clear instructions on the role of women within the family and the church and these should be followed. He has not given clear instructions, but principles regarding women's roles outside of family and church. Women were designed to be helpers and a woman can carry out that role even in a position of authority or leadership over men, when they adorn themselves with "a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4)".
Saturday, April 4, 2009
20 Things That Make Me Happy
1. Drinking coffee out of those cute little coffee mugs that cost $9.00 at Starbucks
2. Sittting on a boat and watching fireworks over the lake
3. The color brown
4. The view from the top of a mountain
5. Sweaters
6. Flip-flops
7. Going for a walk on the beach at midnight and trying to avoid stepping on all the little crabs in the dark
8. Horses
9. Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia
10. Taking out my frustrations on the piano and realizing that I started out playing The Chase by Cornelius Gurlitt and am now playing Rocket to the Moon by Jim Brickman
11. Tirimisu
12. Dark chocolate
13. Watching the news
14. Walking through the Pottery Barn and visualizing beautiful rooms in my mind
15. Curling up in a blanket in front of a fireplace with a good book on a rainy day
16. Hardwood floors
17. Visiting museums, battlefields, and historical places
18. Hugs
19. Sleeping in
20. Taking pictures with a small depth of field
2. Sittting on a boat and watching fireworks over the lake
3. The color brown
4. The view from the top of a mountain
5. Sweaters
6. Flip-flops
7. Going for a walk on the beach at midnight and trying to avoid stepping on all the little crabs in the dark
8. Horses
9. Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia
10. Taking out my frustrations on the piano and realizing that I started out playing The Chase by Cornelius Gurlitt and am now playing Rocket to the Moon by Jim Brickman
11. Tirimisu
12. Dark chocolate
13. Watching the news
14. Walking through the Pottery Barn and visualizing beautiful rooms in my mind
15. Curling up in a blanket in front of a fireplace with a good book on a rainy day
16. Hardwood floors
17. Visiting museums, battlefields, and historical places
18. Hugs
19. Sleeping in
20. Taking pictures with a small depth of field
Friday, March 20, 2009
Who Am I?
As this is my very first blog post, I thought I would talk about my biggest, most recent revelation. Over the last couple of months, I have been asking several questions: Who is God and who am I? I have tried so hard to be a "good, Christian girl", to please God, and to enlighten others to their sinful ways. What did it get me? I could not make myself change into something truly good no matter how hard I tried.
I have been "good" but I knew it was never good enough to please God. Every time I did something wrong, I told myself how horrible I was, that there was no way I could possibly be acceptable to God. He intimidated me. How could a Being as holy as He was, desire to have a relationship with me?
Of course, I knew that God was love and that He was good. But my true belief was what defined my actions. Finally, God began to reveal to me that I was completely accepted by Him. I brought Him pleasure. I was one with Jesus Christ.
Before man's fall, God and man were friends. There was no sin or struggle to talk about, just each other. What they liked, what they thought, what their favorite thing was about the day. That fellowship ended when man sinned. No longer did man desire God; his spirit was in rebellion.
Christ came to restore that relationship. No longer is there a wall between man and God. My relationship with God is exactly how it would have been in the Garden of Eden. I am the desire of His heart. I am acceptable to Him and He is pleased with me no matter what I do.
It is about God Himself, His glory and His praise, not how bad we are. It helps answer the question: "Why did God make man if He knew he was going to sin?" Because it never was about us and our sin; it was always about all things being "to the praise of the glory of His grace"(Eph. 1:6). That was God's purpose and it always has been. He created man so that He could live in and through him and man's fall never altered that purpose.
Jesus came to offer freedom and rest but the Christians I see have neither freedom nor rest. What matters are the externals. If your life does not line up with what they think the Bible(or, in reality, their denomination) says, then you have a problem in your relationship with God. You need to get right with Him, read your Bible and pray more, get involved in more programs, evaluate your priorities, and the list could go on and on. They live bound by rules, always trying harder to follow God and be acceptable in His sight. I used to be one of them.
The reality is that I can't live the life. Jesus is THE LIFE and only He can live His Life. Being a "Christian" simply means being one with Christ, Him living as me. If I am trying my best to live how God expects me to, I am going to exhaust myself and completely fail. My identity is no longer in the external actions and labels but in Christ alone.
I have been "good" but I knew it was never good enough to please God. Every time I did something wrong, I told myself how horrible I was, that there was no way I could possibly be acceptable to God. He intimidated me. How could a Being as holy as He was, desire to have a relationship with me?
Of course, I knew that God was love and that He was good. But my true belief was what defined my actions. Finally, God began to reveal to me that I was completely accepted by Him. I brought Him pleasure. I was one with Jesus Christ.
Before man's fall, God and man were friends. There was no sin or struggle to talk about, just each other. What they liked, what they thought, what their favorite thing was about the day. That fellowship ended when man sinned. No longer did man desire God; his spirit was in rebellion.
Christ came to restore that relationship. No longer is there a wall between man and God. My relationship with God is exactly how it would have been in the Garden of Eden. I am the desire of His heart. I am acceptable to Him and He is pleased with me no matter what I do.
It is about God Himself, His glory and His praise, not how bad we are. It helps answer the question: "Why did God make man if He knew he was going to sin?" Because it never was about us and our sin; it was always about all things being "to the praise of the glory of His grace"(Eph. 1:6). That was God's purpose and it always has been. He created man so that He could live in and through him and man's fall never altered that purpose.
Jesus came to offer freedom and rest but the Christians I see have neither freedom nor rest. What matters are the externals. If your life does not line up with what they think the Bible(or, in reality, their denomination) says, then you have a problem in your relationship with God. You need to get right with Him, read your Bible and pray more, get involved in more programs, evaluate your priorities, and the list could go on and on. They live bound by rules, always trying harder to follow God and be acceptable in His sight. I used to be one of them.
The reality is that I can't live the life. Jesus is THE LIFE and only He can live His Life. Being a "Christian" simply means being one with Christ, Him living as me. If I am trying my best to live how God expects me to, I am going to exhaust myself and completely fail. My identity is no longer in the external actions and labels but in Christ alone.
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