Being

Sometimes I like to sit and let the silence soothe my soul. To be able to hear every creak of the house, the quiet hum of the computer, to stare out the window and be still. I long for these little moments that almost never come anymore. I think I could stay here forever.

When they come, I feel the crush of time. I know it is only a matter of minutes until I hear their little feet coming to find me. I feel the minutes go by in painful agony, wishing for time to slow down. For just another few quiet moments uninterrupted.

I do so love these little persons that steal my time and my silence. There were never cuter bandits in the world. They are my world.

With every breath I take, I drink in more of this wonderful silence. I want to suck it all into me until there is no more to fill. The sound of drizzly raindrops bores into me. I really think I could stay here forever.

I soak up what I can.

The stillness, the silence, the...

Being.

On New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year. The time of year for everyone's New Year's resolution zeal to be winding down. New Year's resolutions are a weird thing for me. I'm not sure I understand the point. Is there some sort of gleeful feeling one gets from starting things on a day and a month marked with a one?

I don't understand the reason so many put so much on January 1st. One could pick any other day to "turn over a new leaf". Any other day to start exercising. Or start a diet. Or be more nice to people.

When the stats show that only 8% of people are successful at keeping their resolutions, than what is the point? Why bother to make them? Why do people choose to lock themselves into a hard as stone resolution that they are destined never to keep and to feel terrible about forever?

It's a vicious cycle. You make resolutions, start running out of steam a month in, fail completely, beat yourself up over it, and then make a whole new list up that, by golly, you are gonna work extra hard to fulfill it! On and on the cycle goes.

I understand goals. Goals are great. Goals are flexible. Goals are something you can work towards in manageable steps.

For example, when one resolves to lose weight, one usually also resolves to never eat butter or cheesecake until they have lost x amount of pounds. One resolves to go to the gym every day. With a goal, you aim to lose weight and take the manageable steps to get there. This may involve parking further away from your destination, eating 4 servings of vegetables everyday, and only eating a piece of cheesecake once a week.

The very word resolution sounds so permanent that I think it hampers more than it helps. Where is the give for the day that you come home too exhausted to hit the gym? Or you're sick for a week? I think goals are better suited for this. You can take two steps forward and one step back without it being a big deal.

I like to write out a list of goals at the beginning of the year, just to give myself some direction. Every couple months I take a look at it, mark off things that I've accomplished, and reevaluate my goals. If I didn't, I'd never accomplish anything! These are goals I am working towards, not resolutions that I will feel terrible about failing. Sometimes I get it all done and usually I don't, but I have no guilt either way.

Life is hard enough. Let's show ourselves some grace and get things done. Work towards a goal or two. And you don't even have to wait until January 1st.

River Rocks Series: Five Smooth Stones

"And David strapped his sword over his armor. And he tried in vain to go, for he had not tested them. Then David said to Saul, "I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them." So David put them off.
Then he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones
from the brook and put them in his shepherd's pouch. His sling was in his hand, and he approached the Philistine.
And the Philistine moved forward and came near to David, with his shield-bearer in front of him.
And when the Philistine looked and saw David, he disdained him, for he was but a youth, ruddy and handsome in appearance.
And the Philistine said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods.
the Philistine said to David, "Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field."
Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.
This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel,
and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD's, and he will give you into our hand."
When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine.
And David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone and slung it and struck the Philistine on his forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.
So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him. There was no sword in the hand of David."
~1 Samuel 17:39-50

This passage was where my study of river rocks and suffering began. It is a familiar story: David and Goliath, the shepherd boy versus the giant. I had read it many times before but this time the wording in verse 40 caught my attention. David had chosen these rocks.

Webster's Dictionary defines the verb, to choose, as:
To pick out; to select; to take by way of preference from two or more things offered; to make choice of.

David was not picking up rocks at random. These would be his only weapons and, since David was a master with his sling, he knew exactly what he was looking for and what would work best. He was carefully choosing the weight, size, shape, and possibly smoothness, of these stones. David was looking for river rocks that had been perfectly prepared for this mission.

There was a process that these "smooth stones" had to go through to become perfectly prepared. A rock is made smooth by tumbling, and I will go more into that process in my future posts. Who knows how long these rocks had been tumbling about in that brook becoming exactly what David needed for that exact time?

There are many lessons in suffering and seeing our circumstances from God's perspective that we can learn from these five smooth stones, the process of tumbling, and David's own life.

"He's Not A Tame Lion"

This is one of my absolute favorite quotes from The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (Forgive me if the quote is only in the movie, I couldn't remember whether it was in the book or not). Aslan, the Great Lion, is a picture of Christ. He created Narnia, he is good, and everything must submit to him. He is also "not a tame lion". That is one of the many things I love about this character: you never know what he is going to do next!
Like Aslan, the God that I serve is not a tame God. God is not boring as most unbelievers suppose and as most believers act. I never know what He is going to do next, my life is an adventure! So live life with breathless expectation, seize the day, and worship our untame God!

"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation."

-Oswald Chambers

Movies

After a long week of craziness, the weekend has arrived! Many people like to celebrate with a quick run to their neighborhood Blockbuster Video and by sharing a big bowl of popcorn with their friends. Movie nights are a favorite pastime of mine. I love seeing a movie with my family or friends but when it comes to actually choosing the movie, what is appropriate?

It is not easy to find the answer. The word movie will not show up in any Bible concordance. So, where do we draw the line? Psalm 101:3 says, "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes…" The word wicked in this verse could be better translated "without profit" or "worthlessness."

Is it worthless and without profit for me? As individuals, we are each vulnerable in different areas. A violent war scene may not bother me but it may bother someone else; even something that may not affect me outwardly may affect my mind without my realizing it. All things are lawful for me to do, but not all things are edifying (1 Cor. 10:23). For this reason, it is necessary to carefully think about what we are watching instead of treating it as mindless entertainment.

Ultimately, we must each individually decide what God's desire is for us. God's laws are in our minds and written on our hearts. We have the mind of Christ. When we set before our eyes a thing that is not right for us to see, the Holy Spirit will reveal this.

My Life through God’s Eyes

A row of books, a comfy chair, and solitude. Pen poised, journal open, I settle in for what I expect will be a wonderful, though long overdue, time with my God. Enveloped by the silence of the library, I pose my questions to Him and await His reply.

What is God's view of who I am? A few months ago, I doubt I could have answered this question completely. I only knew in part who I was and how God saw me. But now, God has revealed this mystery to me and with surety I can say that He sees me as perfect, holy, and without blemish. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says that I have been "made the righteousness of God in Him (Christ)."

When God sees me, He sees His own righteousness. He sees me as whole and complete. John wrote to believers in 3 John 1:4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth". I believe that, like John, God has no greater joy than to know that His children are walking in His truth. There is nothing that brings God more joy than seeing me just starting to live out of the truth that I am perfect and complete in Christ!

I am made in God's image and I am perfect and beautiful in His sight. I am His beloved and the desire of His heart. I am a princess of the Most High King, and everything that belongs to the King also belongs to me.

Why am I here? I am here to bring God more glory. He made me and sanctified me because He can live through me in a way that He cannot live through anyone else. He has created in me a love for truth and now THE Truth is alive in me. I am here to proclaim truth to those captives that have been freed and do not yet realize it.

God wants me to know Him and He wants others to see Christ living out of me. Jesus is my source of life; He is the Life. For "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me."