Being

Sometimes I like to sit and let the silence soothe my soul. To be able to hear every creak of the house, the quiet hum of the computer, to stare out the window and be still. I long for these little moments that almost never come anymore. I think I could stay here forever.

When they come, I feel the crush of time. I know it is only a matter of minutes until I hear their little feet coming to find me. I feel the minutes go by in painful agony, wishing for time to slow down. For just another few quiet moments uninterrupted.

I do so love these little persons that steal my time and my silence. There were never cuter bandits in the world. They are my world.

With every breath I take, I drink in more of this wonderful silence. I want to suck it all into me until there is no more to fill. The sound of drizzly raindrops bores into me. I really think I could stay here forever.

I soak up what I can.

The stillness, the silence, the...

Being.

On New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year. The time of year for everyone's New Year's resolution zeal to be winding down. New Year's resolutions are a weird thing for me. I'm not sure I understand the point. Is there some sort of gleeful feeling one gets from starting things on a day and a month marked with a one?

I don't understand the reason so many put so much on January 1st. One could pick any other day to "turn over a new leaf". Any other day to start exercising. Or start a diet. Or be more nice to people.

When the stats show that only 8% of people are successful at keeping their resolutions, than what is the point? Why bother to make them? Why do people choose to lock themselves into a hard as stone resolution that they are destined never to keep and to feel terrible about forever?

It's a vicious cycle. You make resolutions, start running out of steam a month in, fail completely, beat yourself up over it, and then make a whole new list up that, by golly, you are gonna work extra hard to fulfill it! On and on the cycle goes.

I understand goals. Goals are great. Goals are flexible. Goals are something you can work towards in manageable steps.

For example, when one resolves to lose weight, one usually also resolves to never eat butter or cheesecake until they have lost x amount of pounds. One resolves to go to the gym every day. With a goal, you aim to lose weight and take the manageable steps to get there. This may involve parking further away from your destination, eating 4 servings of vegetables everyday, and only eating a piece of cheesecake once a week.

The very word resolution sounds so permanent that I think it hampers more than it helps. Where is the give for the day that you come home too exhausted to hit the gym? Or you're sick for a week? I think goals are better suited for this. You can take two steps forward and one step back without it being a big deal.

I like to write out a list of goals at the beginning of the year, just to give myself some direction. Every couple months I take a look at it, mark off things that I've accomplished, and reevaluate my goals. If I didn't, I'd never accomplish anything! These are goals I am working towards, not resolutions that I will feel terrible about failing. Sometimes I get it all done and usually I don't, but I have no guilt either way.

Life is hard enough. Let's show ourselves some grace and get things done. Work towards a goal or two. And you don't even have to wait until January 1st.